What if…

…the ICC Headquarters would be moved from Dubai to Mumbai. I shudder to think about it, but still will give it a thought. So here are the scenarios, some possible, some probable and some impossible. You figure out…

1. RIP Test Cricket. IPL will be passed off as international cricket.

2. The ICC HQ would serve three purposes – Firstly, a plush corporate-ishtyle office to run the NCP, then Krishi Bhavan (Agriculture Ministry) and perhaps coincidentally, also host the ICC.

3. Raj Thackeray will demand more Marathi employees in the ICC HQ. So, expect some action on that front. Also, demand that the name of the ICC must be prominently displayed in Marathi font. Else…”daha divsacha countdown laavnaar…”

4. The ICC will create a new post – “Commissioner” and no prizes for guessing who’ll occupy that seat.

5. Ajit Pawar, already disillusioned with Maharashtra politics could be the next CEO of the ICC, following the excellent footsteps of Malcolm Speed and Haroon Lorgat.

6. Another possible contender for that post, RR Patil, Maharashtra’s ekhaada haadsa minister. And of course, that fight will define the ICC Headquarters.

7. Pakistan will be de-rostered as a Test playing nation. Not that they play enough Tests anyway, but Mumbai after-all.

8. Bal Thackerey will become the chief patron of the ICC or something whacky-sounding title along those lines. He still continues to believe Mumbai runs and stops with his orders. And if you read closely, I’ve used two different spellers for the nephew and uncle. I’ll stick to that, yes.

9. ICC will *possibly* renamed as BCCI. Indian Cricket Council or whatever you want to name it as.

10. All of these things won’t come true. Sharad Pawar can concentrate on Agriculture Cricket. Because London looks like the possible destination for the ICC HQ. 😀

Lalit Modi’s War on Cricket

Okay. The title sounds rather dramatic, but yeah – this man has declared an all-out war on cricket. So hang on, while I argue my case.

First, today’s news. Our friend, Sri Lalit Kumar Modi has gone on record saying that Australia’s domestic/international players won’t be allowed to play in the IPL if they don’t get released from their respective State teams before the tournament starts. Okay, sounds fine ? Next, this man has again gone on record saying those Australian state teams that refuse to release their cricketers by the due-date will not be banned from the Champions’ League. Good news ? No. I am pretty sure that the Aussies would stay put where they are, playing state cricket and how they are, doing their bit to further their case when it comes to wearing the Baggy Green, and if they show any signs of giving in to Lalit Modi’s demands, again – might represent a darker, unfortunate reality that we are finding ourselves in today.

This was today. Last week, there was so much of nonsense about Pakistani players being denied a Visa and missing the deadline for registration and all that, and finally when they do get the visa for the IPL, what does this man do ? Say, you’re not eligible to be playing since the time has lapsed and you must put forward your names for the auction. Excellent. It’s my way or highway, he says. Some might still hold the argument, that this man has professionalized the game so much and taken this to new heights, but is anyone even talking about the long-term consequences ? The worry or the skepticism within India is quite limited, since interests merge seamlessly, and of course – when the corporates go hand-in-glove with these presumably noble intentions that Mr. Modi have for the game, it’s become increasingly difficult to even express those very concerns/skepticisms. And the game we all love, is in a way, at war, battling against it’s very existence.

No. Why should we ? We’re the World’s no. 1 team in the world, worthy of awards from everywhere possible. So, we’re doing our bit to preserve test cricket. Another futile argument, of course. But the reality is – It’s not that Mr. Modi doesn’t know about the arguments surrounding his moves, but quite simply put – he doesn’t care. And in a way, he’s dished out the classic Bush metaphor of “You’re either with me, or the rest of the cricketing world”. Unfortunate again. And where are we helpless fans trying to cherish and celebrate every piece of real Test cricket we see and read about ? Nowhere.

And lastly, Mr. Modi wants to expand the league to 11 teams ? And then again, play 91 matches. Hello ? 91 frigging matches ? Sorry, but this is taking the war to an unconquered extreme. Surely, for now – the war is on, but cricket must do just about everything to win this war, and not let Mr. Modi’s intentions get the better of the game.

This business of being World no. 1

If this isn’t a farce, nothing ever is and will be. Some might call it corrective action, but the cynic and the critic I am, I’d call it a late realization, a desperate attempt to avoid flak from world over and of course, face-saving at constantly being accused as a Board that wants to kill Tests, which unfortunately the BCCI is doing, ever so successfully.

So, as we learnt today, the BCCI has sent Cricket South Africa a request, an incredibly late one of re-modifying their originally re-modified tour into a 2-Test and 3-ODI tour (Read: the original tour was supposed to be a 3-Test, 5-ODIs one). Superb. So, what was supposed to be a three-test series between two teams that are currently on top of the ICC Test Rankings, whose credibility is as good or as bad or as ugly as the Liberhan report (depends on which side you’re from) – are playing just two Tests. Why didn’t the original tour schedule stick ? Because an additional test would have breached the IPL schedule Sir Lalit Modi might have designed. And now, two ODIs are being sacrificed for two tests. I must commend the wisdom of the BCCI. I leave it to your judgment and respected opinion to tell me if this is a farce or not.

Now, the other argument. Some of them would reconcile to the fact that, the BCCI must be commended for taking prompt action and as a TV journalist put it today (I won’t take names, I know him) – “protect” Test cricket. Sorry, this isn’t protecting Test cricket. This is a mask of intense desperation to defeat the already strong opinion about how India is working all out and formally to kill Test cricket and of course, an attempt to give it’s team the perfect platform to save it’s World no. 1 ranking, by which the BCCI believes it won’t draw flak. A farce at best. So, if the BCCI was so hellbent on protecting (read: not promoting), I mean, why re-modify the original itinerary  ? And worse, hold five ODIs instead of a full-fledged Test series ? Their answer would be, hell yes, “South Africa visited India in March/April 2008 and played 3 Tests, so we’re just hosting the ODI-leg of the tour.” – now that sounds like a decent explanation. Over the years, India vs South Africa tours have been split into Tests/ODIs (2004 – 3 Tests and 2005 – 5 ODIs) and the last time, South Africa visited India for a full-tour was in 2000 – 2 Tests in Mumbai/Bangalore and that Hansie Cronje series (which no one will and must forget). At the end of all this, can someone offer me a decent explanation, please ?

Let the BCCI not make a fool of itself. The world, and yes I’ve worked in the UK, reported cricket from there, is laughing at the BCCI. No jokes. About time we do everything in our powers to give Test cricket the sort of respect it deserves. Yes, play the IPL – no one is stopping you from doing so. But, hey, don’t compromise on this one format of the game, that’ll live on regardless of Lalit Modi, please.